yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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