Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
