weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
