As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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