I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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