she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
