My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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