dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
