the condom got lost in my hair
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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