I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
True college students do jello shots in the library
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize