I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
