found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
