Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
