I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize