Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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