somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Jerry, you need to find god
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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