You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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