So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he puts the penis in happiness.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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