How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
