cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
