What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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