She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize