Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
