my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
