Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
