i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
