how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
