I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
