ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
