He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
