Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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