i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
