8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
