I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
