Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
