I hate all girls vehemently.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
