so explain again why im purple
no
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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