this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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