in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
