half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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