After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
