I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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