That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
