you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
