I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize