I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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