If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
