Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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