Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
