Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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