I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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