I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
