Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
