Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
