Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
