I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize