and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
