no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
then he tried to convert me to islam
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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