dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
