Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
