I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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