Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
